Done with small talk over coffee, with a quick "I'll pray for you" on the way out the door.
Done with fake smiles. Done with pretending.
Done with "How are you?" being used as a greeting instead of a question.
Done with "fine" for an answer.
Done with sitting in the same room with you once a week and considering it meaningful.
Done with this thin, social veneer which sucks us all into a false sense of belonging.
I want to laugh with you. I want to cry with you.
I want to know what fears still play around with you when you're alone.
I want to know what it feels like for you when you hear His voice.
I want to know what it feels like for you when you don't.
I want to share meals and memories.
I want to share work.
I want to share life.
I want to be community.
I want to be family.
I want to really know you.
And I want to be known.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
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17 comments:
Amazing piece, Erin! Thanks so much for sharing. After a night of doing church in a friend's house (while they weren't there!), I am beginning to understand what this feels like.
i seriously could not say this better. i feel so "different" because when i make a real friend, that person gets all of me (and i'm expecting that transparency in return). it seems like there aren't a whole lot of people who can handle total openness at times. and few people know how to encourage you when you're down. the quick "i'll be praying for you" or the macho "dude--that sucks" is about the best you can hope for these days. but i--we--want more. and there are others out there like us, i'm sure. thanks for sharing this.
Well said! The struggle for me, and I believe most, is the time factor. I once read some research which said that you can only truly have time for 6 people outside your immediate family in which to invest yourself in more than a superficial way. A group of 12 was considered the outside limits and usually there are 1-3 bff's among those who really get the full brunt of each other's lives. Sounds a bit like Jesus and the disciples. I think this is why a large church setting leaves so many empty and frustrated.
It is wonderful to gather with many others to celebrate in worship and the Word and have greater resources to meet various needs, but to do life together well in the way you advocate, we need to think simple and small and let go of expectations for intimacy with one another in the larger setting.
i think there's truth to that, but i think busyness is a problem in our society (and i think the enemy is behind it). we invent a phone, and no longer do we have to go to our neighbor face to face to ask a question. emails take the place of more thoughtful and personal postal mail (i guess you put more into something that, at the time, cost some 20-something cents). mobile phones allow you to talk to somebody whenever and wherever you want. you never have to stop doing what you want to do in order to talk to people. text messaging and online instant messaging come along, and kids in our culture don't even have to talk anymore. just impersonal typing. and with all of these things, the responses from others come back much more quickly also. so we now move at a faster pace than we did 150 years ago. some argue at how much better it is now, but, i think we've sacrificed true community for convenience. with each of these advances, we lose a little more of the personal side of communication. we talk less to actual people and more to electronics that deliver the message.
that's quite a rant, i know. but all that to say, i think our society has made us impersonal. so it's no surprise we can't have true fellowship with people anymore. the enemy is aware that we need each other, so i think this is not on accident. (and no, i don't think we should throw everything away and go live in a commune somewhere with no modern conveniences. i just wanted to point all of this out in a way that may be overlooked.)
awesome Erin...I am looking for this too..but you know that!! :)
Absolutely. Thanks for adding to the discussion, folks. It would suck to put up this post and have no response lol.
You bring up something really important, CJ. My guess is that if we don't have time in our lives for community, which I believe that Jesus calls us to, then we've filled our lives with things that Jesus hasn't called us to. Which means... stuff has to go. We become slaves to satisfying the needs of the American Dream (even for us Canadians), and don't have time for being disciples of Jesus.
*standing ovation* Awesome post Wilsonian. I am pretty sure that Jesus was also done with all of that a long time ago.
Wilsonian...from my little corner I'd add my Amen but I'm done with sitting in the Amen corner. Good, good post.
Listen, no one asked me but something else I am done with is Christian blogging in the Christian blogosphere and the sub group (quite huge really) of the Catholic Christian blogosphere. Oh, I don't mean I won't visit around I just mean I'm done with trying to be anything other than who I am, a person who is a Christ-one. So, putting my money where keyboard is I recently closed my 'Christian in the Christian blogosphere' and focus now on my art site. Drives me crackers when people ask me if my art is Christian art. I drink milk but it doesn't come from a Christian cow. OK, taking up space...better scoot. Great blog kids. Peace be with you
For many years, I was surrounded by this type of atmosphere, but not anymore. I did a lot of praying and asking God to change this. (I actually griped to God about it more than I dare to admit)I was tired of fake. I was tired of the "How are you? I missed you last Sunday? Okay, take care and I will see you next Sunday." I was wanting someone reach out and say, "Where are you? Man, I have been thinking about you all week long. Can I come over or do you want to get together and we can talk. I really need a friend right now." I wanted to see heart. Don't get me wrong, I still see it in my church group, but not like I use to. Most of the time it is heart.
The first Sunday of every month, we have home fellowship time. The last one that we had was the best one that I have ever been to. It was a truth game. We went around the room, each one bearing how they were doing physically and then mentally. We didn't get to the spiritual part because the mental part took so long (there were 8 of us in the room). We shared our fears, worries, insecurities, etc. Our pastor is in our group, and I got to see a side of him that I have never seen before. He shared his heart. We all cried with each other and prayed for one another. Why can't church be like that more often? It is like taking a shower. It is refreshing and in the end, we encourage one another and know how to pray for one another.
excellent post erin
and owen, great to catch up with you again - i so agree with your comments
Wilsonian,
You know that I resonate with this post and many of the other posts on this new blog. And I don't mean to be at all "comabative" in the following comment, but....
I find the description of this blog quite ironic: "A blog for Christians who are done with Christianity."
If one is truly done with Christianity then why would one still even call oneself a Christian?
If I may be allowed to say so, I think y'all aren't really done.
OK, back to my corner now. Peace and love to you my friend, you know I mean it.
A from Minnesota
Uhhh....that should have been "combative" not "comabative." Geez.
A from Minnesota
I love what is happening here. :)
And A... I think we're fond of the label. I'll just speak for myself here, but I'm done with what Western Christianity has come to mean, but I'm in no way finished with Christ. As was mentioned in another post... humans tend to work well with shorthand, and I don't think we've yet come up with a better descriptor, nor have we successfully reclaimed the one in use. Nice call.
I instantly knew this was you because I instantly saw myself hollering, "Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!!!"
i am done with phony things, trivial. i am tired, e, but you know that already.
i loved this. i love your heart.
pen
I love this. I am at this point in my life--I want to spend time with people. And amazingly, God is honoring that by giving me people to spend time with. Thank you for this.
You rock!
xo,
SL
wonderful feedback here. as you may have noticed, we have made some adjustments to the blog. forgive us as we're still figuring this thing out. we're just trying to be a significant conversation that leads to constructive criticism of what it means to be a Christian... and hopefully, how to be a better one.
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