Because life is Christ.
And we figure out what fits in with Him.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I Am Done With... Holding Back
I'm tired of holding back...
...An answer in Bible study when I feel my spirit burning within me.
...A truth about God that I know is true, but may hurt someone's theological box.
...Of not stepping up as a responsible leader when it's more comfortable to follow and be cynical.
...Passion in worship, because it's weird to be that outlandish in one's praise.
...Honesty in fellowship, because I'm scared of being who God created me to be and not being accepted.
I am done with holding back.
...An answer in Bible study when I feel my spirit burning within me.
...A truth about God that I know is true, but may hurt someone's theological box.
...Of not stepping up as a responsible leader when it's more comfortable to follow and be cynical.
...Passion in worship, because it's weird to be that outlandish in one's praise.
...Honesty in fellowship, because I'm scared of being who God created me to be and not being accepted.
I am done with holding back.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
i am done with...being unmoved and unchanged (WAKE UP!)
there's a thought that keeps running through my mind. why are Christians content to live ignorant lives? why is it acceptable to not know what the Bible says? why is it okay to say that Christ died so we could have a restored relationship with God and then never talk to Him? how can we hear the truth of God's word and sit quietly (in church, in our personal reading, wherever) when that truth sets us free from the law of sin and from the things the enemy uses to trip us up? why are we content to talk about freedom while living in chains? to quote Lifehouse, "how can [we] stand here with You and not be moved by You?"
this blows me away! we can hear messages that say God is always with us, and then we go back home to our troubles, feeling depressed because "we're the only ones struggling with [insert sin/struggle]." is the Bible true or not?! if it is, we need to live it!
most of us would SAY the Bible is true, but we entertain thoughts that are contrary to it and accept them as truths. we can't feel rejected if we believe that we are chosen (Isaiah 41:8-9, 1 Peter 2:9-10). we can't feel alone if we believe that God will never leave us nor fail us (Joshua 1:5,9, Matthew 28:20). we can't let our boyfriends/girlfriends/lov
the devil is not afraid of a "believer" who says one thing and lives another (Isaiah 29:13-14, Matthew 15:7-9, James 1:6-8). you will never have victory over the things that hold you down unless you give up life as you know it and surrender your whole heart, soul, mind, and body to God Almighty as an offering (John 12:24-25)!
i am sick of seeing this chosen generation living beneath its calling! (and i know i'm not the only one.) to this generation i say these words:
i will fight for you
when you have no will to fight for yourself
i will love you
even when you spit in my face
i won't walk out on you
even if you ask me to leave
you have a purpose
wake up and live
be a light in the darkness
awaken the dawn
i pray for life and breath to come to these dry bones. rise up, army of God!
i'll close this with some verses that have been on my heart for the past week or so.
Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you,
and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you.
For the LORD is a God of justice;
blessed are all those who wait for Him.
For a people shall dwell in Zion, in Jerusalem; you shall weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry. As soon as He hears it, He answers you. And though the LORD give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, "Be gone!" (Isaiah 30:18-22, ESV)
Friday, October 24, 2008
I am done with...Graceless Politics
"..politics which always runs by the rule of ungrace, allures us to trade away grace for power.." CS Lewis
Anyone who has known me for a while, knows my political views have changed dramatically over the last two or three years. I spent 20 yrs overdosing on Rush Limbaugh, Fox news, and all the propaganda of the religious right. I quite literally was a student of all things Republican, I read Anne Coulters books, listen to Rush every day for the entire 3 hours his show aired, I was an active member of Operation Rescue, attended Bush rallies and campaigned strong for all things Republican. I believed Republican equaled Christian and Democrat equaled non-Christian. But I no longer feel that way.
For me it ALL comes down to Grace. I started to see the vile tactics used by the party said to be allied with my Christian faith. I started to see how I had spoken in extremes and fear concerning Democrats. I started to see clearly the evil of nasty e-mails circulated at election time, the You Tube propaganda and the freakish anger that comes to the surface, even between friends, when you DARE question a Republican or give credit to a Democrat. I saw the party I so completely aligned myself with as being just as bad as the Democratic party which I constantly vilified as evil. I saw no grace from myself and many Christians towards anyone that didn't agree hook line and sinker with the tactics of Family Values political groups, aka, the Republican party. So I repented of the ungrace and fear in my heart and last August I registered as an Independent. I don't feel I fit into either party anymore.
BUT I would say I am half way completely in both parties. I can now see the good in the Democrats and Republicans BUT I can not see Jesus in either parties campaigning. No, I'm not talking about the actual candidates. I think both John McCain and Barak Obama have been very gracious toward each other but the citizens and campaign organizers on both sides need a lesson in more grace less fear mongering.
I get so mad when people talk bad about Barak Obama. I think he is wrong and misguided on Abortion and how to fix the problem of poverty in America but I think he's a good person, with a good heart who really is a follower of Christ. I don't get why, even if he was a flaming homosexual, Muslim Cleric, it would be OK for Christians to act so vile and mean towards him. Would Jesus?
I tell anyone who asks what issues I agree and disagree with between both candidates but I have no need to get angry or feel like it's up to me to change their vote. We all need to vote, vote for the person we think will be the best leader for this country, Research the candidates lives, Look at their eyes when you watch a debate, pray for God to show you that persons true color, not with a view tainted by rhetoric but with a heart full of grace and love for your fellow man, extending grace to even that person you couldn't imagine being President.
Proverbs 24:17 17 Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice.
Mother Theresa was invited to the National Prayer Breakfast when Bill Clinton was president. She spoke very directly to the issue of abortion. She told the pro-choice President that the great sin of America was how it treated the unborn. She said she would take all the babies and find homes for them as she had over 3000 children in India. No one doubted she would do just that, even though it seemed impossible, why? Because Mother Theresa's life was an example of what it looks like to really love your neighbor as yourself. At that prayer breakfast, though she was opposing President Bill Clinton, she was full of both passion and grace. After the speech he met privately with Mother Theresa and to this day says that meeting had a profound influence on him. What I am saying is we don't have to vote for someone we disagree with, we don't have to support them but we do have to love and extend Grace to them if we are going to call ourselves followers of Christ. The Religious Right is known as a legalistic, moralistic, loveless, extreme of the Republican party because there is no Grace shown to anyone that opposes them. That is not Jesus.
Finally I want to say, don't give your passion to politics, give your passion to Christ. Walking in His love, extending His grace at all times. Whether it's eating with tax collectors or prostitutes, Soldiers or Pharisees, treat all people as Jesus would and did.
John 13:34-35 34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Anyone who has known me for a while, knows my political views have changed dramatically over the last two or three years. I spent 20 yrs overdosing on Rush Limbaugh, Fox news, and all the propaganda of the religious right. I quite literally was a student of all things Republican, I read Anne Coulters books, listen to Rush every day for the entire 3 hours his show aired, I was an active member of Operation Rescue, attended Bush rallies and campaigned strong for all things Republican. I believed Republican equaled Christian and Democrat equaled non-Christian. But I no longer feel that way.
For me it ALL comes down to Grace. I started to see the vile tactics used by the party said to be allied with my Christian faith. I started to see how I had spoken in extremes and fear concerning Democrats. I started to see clearly the evil of nasty e-mails circulated at election time, the You Tube propaganda and the freakish anger that comes to the surface, even between friends, when you DARE question a Republican or give credit to a Democrat. I saw the party I so completely aligned myself with as being just as bad as the Democratic party which I constantly vilified as evil. I saw no grace from myself and many Christians towards anyone that didn't agree hook line and sinker with the tactics of Family Values political groups, aka, the Republican party. So I repented of the ungrace and fear in my heart and last August I registered as an Independent. I don't feel I fit into either party anymore.
BUT I would say I am half way completely in both parties. I can now see the good in the Democrats and Republicans BUT I can not see Jesus in either parties campaigning. No, I'm not talking about the actual candidates. I think both John McCain and Barak Obama have been very gracious toward each other but the citizens and campaign organizers on both sides need a lesson in more grace less fear mongering.
I get so mad when people talk bad about Barak Obama. I think he is wrong and misguided on Abortion and how to fix the problem of poverty in America but I think he's a good person, with a good heart who really is a follower of Christ. I don't get why, even if he was a flaming homosexual, Muslim Cleric, it would be OK for Christians to act so vile and mean towards him. Would Jesus?
I tell anyone who asks what issues I agree and disagree with between both candidates but I have no need to get angry or feel like it's up to me to change their vote. We all need to vote, vote for the person we think will be the best leader for this country, Research the candidates lives, Look at their eyes when you watch a debate, pray for God to show you that persons true color, not with a view tainted by rhetoric but with a heart full of grace and love for your fellow man, extending grace to even that person you couldn't imagine being President.
Proverbs 24:17 17 Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice.
Mother Theresa was invited to the National Prayer Breakfast when Bill Clinton was president. She spoke very directly to the issue of abortion. She told the pro-choice President that the great sin of America was how it treated the unborn. She said she would take all the babies and find homes for them as she had over 3000 children in India. No one doubted she would do just that, even though it seemed impossible, why? Because Mother Theresa's life was an example of what it looks like to really love your neighbor as yourself. At that prayer breakfast, though she was opposing President Bill Clinton, she was full of both passion and grace. After the speech he met privately with Mother Theresa and to this day says that meeting had a profound influence on him. What I am saying is we don't have to vote for someone we disagree with, we don't have to support them but we do have to love and extend Grace to them if we are going to call ourselves followers of Christ. The Religious Right is known as a legalistic, moralistic, loveless, extreme of the Republican party because there is no Grace shown to anyone that opposes them. That is not Jesus.
Finally I want to say, don't give your passion to politics, give your passion to Christ. Walking in His love, extending His grace at all times. Whether it's eating with tax collectors or prostitutes, Soldiers or Pharisees, treat all people as Jesus would and did.
John 13:34-35 34 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Thursday, October 23, 2008
I Am Done With...Too Much Information
A while back I read a racer's blog. In her post she described staying up all night, in a hospital room, waging war for two dying babies. She could feel the weight of the spiritual battle in her physical body, but in the morning she (and a co-racer) had won. The babies were healed. I love that God's days start in nights and end in days. This healing story is a profound example of that.
While away at a break through conference, I received a group email from our church's secretary. The email said that a friend's husband was taken to the hospital and he was now in a coma. he has been in and out of the hospital several times in the last year, and I had this feeling, as I read the email, that he would not be coming home. On Monday another email was sent out, and in the car, God told me that this was not what He wanted, but my friend's husband's life would demand a fight...a fight against my friend's worst fear.
Satan has stolen from and brought great destruction into my friends life from day one. Her husband has become a source of strength for her as she fights to merely survive depression. God told me satan was moving in for the kill, and we would need to stand against this and fight for life if he was to come out of his coma.
I called her before I left for the hospital, and the prognosis wasn't good...they were encouraging her to make a decision about taking him OFF of the respirator. I prayed in tongues all the way to the hospital Tuesday night, and when I got there, still in my car, I lifted up my hands and said I know you are the head, but what part am I...and He said my hands.
I felt empowered as I walked into the hospital. When I got there I talked to her, first, about fear...and satan robbing her of life...she agreed (other friends had their doubts)...and then we went into his room. We began to pray and he woke up for a second and looked right at me...focused in on me...and then shut his eyes...I prayed all the more...out loud in English...inside my head in tongues. Our other friends stayed across the room...they wouldn't even touch him, but I was rubbing his feet, his arms...his hands...his head. I was encouraging him and praying over him. He was fighting to wake up...you could tell...getting up...trying to gag up the respirator...it was awesome...war was being waged...you could feel it in the room. His wife began pleading to God...and I heard God tell me "I give good gifts to my children." I knew that her husband would be ok after that.
The nurses came in and his blood pressure was very high...so they gave him some medication. His wife asked the nurses if talking to him could have caused the jump in his blood pressure and they encouraged us to stop praying and talking to him. I left the hospital battle weary and drained of the energy I walked into the hospital with. I felt like I had been in a fight.
In the morning...I hear a knock at the door...it is the minister of our church building...he starts in on me right away...what were you doing...I heard from people who were with you last night that you were violently shaking and screaming at him. I told him that He was being lied to for emphasis...I am quite a timid person...I wouldn't act like that. If anything I did not feel like I was speaking with as much authority as I believed I had...so to hear that report shocked me. I told Him some of what God had said...and the minister accused me of hearing evil spirits. He asked me not to go back and pray over my friend's husband again for fear that I may get his wife and the rest of the visiting members kicked out permanently.
What I find funny is that if I was making such a raucous why did the nurses not come in and tell me to stop or ask me to leave? They didn't. It wasn't until my friend asked the nurses if our talking to him might be agitating him that the nurse said anything at all.
I called my friend after the minister left...and she had a good report...what was a total loss yesterday was now good today. The doctor even asked her "What, do you think He is going to die...no way!!" An amazing turn around in one night of doing battle...and I have the evil spirit??? I wanted to remind him that our church doesn't believe in spirit power...period.
She said I could come back to the hospital...and we went back into the room and prayed over him some more. None of the nurses looked at me funny or warned me to watch my behavior before I went into the room. The room had a calmer feel, and it did not seem at all like the battle ground it was the previous night.
I started this post off with a differant version of the same type of story. In the blog I referenced above the hospital was in the third world, and although it doesn't have near the technology we have, it doesn't hinder prayer nor does it squelch the workings of the Holy Spirit because of the belief that science trumps God. The babies in the first story were not hooked up to anything. The instruments the body is hooked up to in technologically savvy hospitals can only tell us what is going on in the body...but it can't tell us why.
God created the world, the body, and everything else...why can't he use something he created like blood and the heart to bring healing to the body? Just because we think we know everything does not mean that we actually do. What happened to good old fashioned anointing the head with oil when a believer is sick? What about some old fashioned dependence on something bigger than ourselves since our wisdom is foolishness anyway? When leaders in church buildings allow science to trump God we have issues...bigger issues than most people are even willing to deal with.
I am DONE with too much information!!!
While away at a break through conference, I received a group email from our church's secretary. The email said that a friend's husband was taken to the hospital and he was now in a coma. he has been in and out of the hospital several times in the last year, and I had this feeling, as I read the email, that he would not be coming home. On Monday another email was sent out, and in the car, God told me that this was not what He wanted, but my friend's husband's life would demand a fight...a fight against my friend's worst fear.
Satan has stolen from and brought great destruction into my friends life from day one. Her husband has become a source of strength for her as she fights to merely survive depression. God told me satan was moving in for the kill, and we would need to stand against this and fight for life if he was to come out of his coma.
I called her before I left for the hospital, and the prognosis wasn't good...they were encouraging her to make a decision about taking him OFF of the respirator. I prayed in tongues all the way to the hospital Tuesday night, and when I got there, still in my car, I lifted up my hands and said I know you are the head, but what part am I...and He said my hands.
I felt empowered as I walked into the hospital. When I got there I talked to her, first, about fear...and satan robbing her of life...she agreed (other friends had their doubts)...and then we went into his room. We began to pray and he woke up for a second and looked right at me...focused in on me...and then shut his eyes...I prayed all the more...out loud in English...inside my head in tongues. Our other friends stayed across the room...they wouldn't even touch him, but I was rubbing his feet, his arms...his hands...his head. I was encouraging him and praying over him. He was fighting to wake up...you could tell...getting up...trying to gag up the respirator...it was awesome...war was being waged...you could feel it in the room. His wife began pleading to God...and I heard God tell me "I give good gifts to my children." I knew that her husband would be ok after that.
The nurses came in and his blood pressure was very high...so they gave him some medication. His wife asked the nurses if talking to him could have caused the jump in his blood pressure and they encouraged us to stop praying and talking to him. I left the hospital battle weary and drained of the energy I walked into the hospital with. I felt like I had been in a fight.
In the morning...I hear a knock at the door...it is the minister of our church building...he starts in on me right away...what were you doing...I heard from people who were with you last night that you were violently shaking and screaming at him. I told him that He was being lied to for emphasis...I am quite a timid person...I wouldn't act like that. If anything I did not feel like I was speaking with as much authority as I believed I had...so to hear that report shocked me. I told Him some of what God had said...and the minister accused me of hearing evil spirits. He asked me not to go back and pray over my friend's husband again for fear that I may get his wife and the rest of the visiting members kicked out permanently.
What I find funny is that if I was making such a raucous why did the nurses not come in and tell me to stop or ask me to leave? They didn't. It wasn't until my friend asked the nurses if our talking to him might be agitating him that the nurse said anything at all.
I called my friend after the minister left...and she had a good report...what was a total loss yesterday was now good today. The doctor even asked her "What, do you think He is going to die...no way!!" An amazing turn around in one night of doing battle...and I have the evil spirit??? I wanted to remind him that our church doesn't believe in spirit power...period.
She said I could come back to the hospital...and we went back into the room and prayed over him some more. None of the nurses looked at me funny or warned me to watch my behavior before I went into the room. The room had a calmer feel, and it did not seem at all like the battle ground it was the previous night.
I started this post off with a differant version of the same type of story. In the blog I referenced above the hospital was in the third world, and although it doesn't have near the technology we have, it doesn't hinder prayer nor does it squelch the workings of the Holy Spirit because of the belief that science trumps God. The babies in the first story were not hooked up to anything. The instruments the body is hooked up to in technologically savvy hospitals can only tell us what is going on in the body...but it can't tell us why.
God created the world, the body, and everything else...why can't he use something he created like blood and the heart to bring healing to the body? Just because we think we know everything does not mean that we actually do. What happened to good old fashioned anointing the head with oil when a believer is sick? What about some old fashioned dependence on something bigger than ourselves since our wisdom is foolishness anyway? When leaders in church buildings allow science to trump God we have issues...bigger issues than most people are even willing to deal with.
I am DONE with too much information!!!
Monday, October 20, 2008
I Am Done With... Rules
I am done with rules.
I am done with structures that aren't constructive, with guidelines that don't guide me to anything, and with trying to be strict and only ending up feeling constricted.
I am done with the law that brings death instead of life.
I am done with bowing down at the tree of knowledge of good and evil, of right and wrong, of playing God, instead of embracing life.
I am done with rules that don't lead to freedom.
I am done with governors, teachers, and administrators that are no longer necessary to enjoy the life of a son.
I am done with living like a slave in a land that is supposed to be my inheritance.
I am with every jot and tittle that makes me feel superior to someone else. I am done with following the letter and rejecting the spirit.
I am, quite simply, done with rules for rules' sake.
I am done with structures that aren't constructive, with guidelines that don't guide me to anything, and with trying to be strict and only ending up feeling constricted.
I am done with the law that brings death instead of life.
I am done with bowing down at the tree of knowledge of good and evil, of right and wrong, of playing God, instead of embracing life.
I am done with rules that don't lead to freedom.
I am done with governors, teachers, and administrators that are no longer necessary to enjoy the life of a son.
I am done with living like a slave in a land that is supposed to be my inheritance.
I am with every jot and tittle that makes me feel superior to someone else. I am done with following the letter and rejecting the spirit.
I am, quite simply, done with rules for rules' sake.
Friday, October 17, 2008
I am done with...Titles
The following is a conversation that I had today over ichat with my youth pastor from when I was in high school about my recent wrestling with the seemingly unnecessary and incredibly potentially hurtful titles that have been tossed around lately.
---------------
Joe:
i wrote this for I am done with...
what do you think?
"I am done with "fundamentalists"
I am done with "emergents"
I can't help but feel that is disrespectful and definitely not God honoring to be placing stereotypical titles on people who's thoughts and beliefs are so much deeper than a one word name.
Growing up, I frequently answer a question that I never understood. I am half Filipino and half German and Swedish. Whenever responding to sideways looks for not looking completely asian or filling out school forms, drivers license information, or any other type of application that asked what my race was, I never had a clue what to put. I always felt like I was disappointing one parent's heritage or the others with either answer I would mark down. It always felt like I was taking something away from the unique creation that I was when I had to "choose a side."
Am I luke warm if I don't want to be called emergent? Will I be spit out if I don't want to be labeled as a fundamentalist?
The only way that I desire to be known, the only title I desire to carry, the only label I will shamelessly own is to be a child of God. To me, any other name takes me away from what I was created to be.
I wasn't created to be emergent. I wasn't created to be a fundamentalist.
I wasn't made to be anything other than a child of God, and that's all I could ever hope to be."
Nate:
it's good
but
it's an age old argument
Catholics vs. orthodox
Jews vs. Christians
shouldn't we all be children of God?
yes.
but we are prideful beings
and pride leads to arrogance and self-righteousness
and thus, you have denominationalism
"emergents" had to emerge from somewhere
fundamentalists have to have their fundamentals based in something
the word "catholic" means "all together"
ironically
Joe:
hahaha
I wholeheartedly agree. I've been really discouraged lately by the disrespect shown to either side lately. I guess its more of a "i am finally seeing it" type of thing, but its really discouraging
Nate:
well ecumenism (what you're talking about)
is not necessarily a cure-all
Joe:
what do you feel is?
Nate:
dunno
bible based teaching
authentic faith
humility
Joe:
Do you think it's a lot like communism?
on paper systems like that can be fool proof
but because humans by nature, for lack of a better word, suck
so we mess it up with our pride and self-righteousness?
Nate:
exactly
---------------
What do you think the God honoring answer is here? How do we "put on" an identity made bible based teaching, authentic faith, and humility?
-joe
---------------
Joe:
i wrote this for I am done with...
what do you think?
"I am done with "fundamentalists"
I am done with "emergents"
I can't help but feel that is disrespectful and definitely not God honoring to be placing stereotypical titles on people who's thoughts and beliefs are so much deeper than a one word name.
Growing up, I frequently answer a question that I never understood. I am half Filipino and half German and Swedish. Whenever responding to sideways looks for not looking completely asian or filling out school forms, drivers license information, or any other type of application that asked what my race was, I never had a clue what to put. I always felt like I was disappointing one parent's heritage or the others with either answer I would mark down. It always felt like I was taking something away from the unique creation that I was when I had to "choose a side."
Am I luke warm if I don't want to be called emergent? Will I be spit out if I don't want to be labeled as a fundamentalist?
The only way that I desire to be known, the only title I desire to carry, the only label I will shamelessly own is to be a child of God. To me, any other name takes me away from what I was created to be.
I wasn't created to be emergent. I wasn't created to be a fundamentalist.
I wasn't made to be anything other than a child of God, and that's all I could ever hope to be."
Nate:
it's good
but
it's an age old argument
Catholics vs. orthodox
Jews vs. Christians
shouldn't we all be children of God?
yes.
but we are prideful beings
and pride leads to arrogance and self-righteousness
and thus, you have denominationalism
"emergents" had to emerge from somewhere
fundamentalists have to have their fundamentals based in something
the word "catholic" means "all together"
ironically
Joe:
hahaha
I wholeheartedly agree. I've been really discouraged lately by the disrespect shown to either side lately. I guess its more of a "i am finally seeing it" type of thing, but its really discouraging
Nate:
well ecumenism (what you're talking about)
is not necessarily a cure-all
Joe:
what do you feel is?
Nate:
dunno
bible based teaching
authentic faith
humility
Joe:
Do you think it's a lot like communism?
on paper systems like that can be fool proof
but because humans by nature, for lack of a better word, suck
so we mess it up with our pride and self-righteousness?
Nate:
exactly
---------------
What do you think the God honoring answer is here? How do we "put on" an identity made bible based teaching, authentic faith, and humility?
-joe
I'm Done With.... what you think of my worship
There was a time when I was so concerned about what you thought of my worship. Rather than being lost in adoration for my Savior, I was lost in what you thought of my expressions of worship. And the energy that took was sucking the life from my corporate worship.I am so done with what you think of my worship. I'm so done with quenching the Spirit. I can't do it anymore.
If raising my hands annoys you, get over it.
If getting on my knees at the altar during a praise song makes you uncomfortable, get over it.
If my shouts of praise hurt your ears, get over it.
If dancing in the aisles before my Father's Presence makes you gasp, get over it.
Or better yet, join me.
Have you been set free? Then raise your hands in surrender with me!
Has Jesus Christ paid your ransom? Then get on your knees with me!
Does the breath of the Living God breathe in you? Then shout His name with me!
Are you a child of the Most High God? Then dance in the aisles with me!
Oh, I'm done with quenching the Holy Spirit because of what you might think of me! Praise God, I'm finally DONE!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I Am Updating...
Hello all,
It's Joe here, with some updates for all of you in the I Am Done With... community!
First off, a HUGE thank you is due to all of you who have been contributing to this blog since we started it almost a month ago. I am incredibly excited to see what God will do with the things which he has put on our hearts and lead us to write here, and have been absolutely privileged to see some amazing things come of it already.
-----------------
Secondly, "Iadw" now has it's on domain name, so if you linked to it anywhere, please change the links to:
www.iamdonewith.com
I made a "cool" (keyword should be "simple", but minimalism is cool these days, right?) little badge for you all to put on your blogs or wherever your heart desires to promote Iadw:
*edit* I am working on a way to be able to share the text for the code...blogger is giving me a hard time with it...sorry! it'll be up soon.**
-----------------
Last but not least, we desire to be a constantly growing community and are a couple ways to do that.
First, we need your help to promote, draw people to this site, and to get the site out there.
Also, we are always looking for new voices to share what they are done with and how they desire to "put on the new". If you o anyone you know that has something to share, send them our way!
An email to: josephallyngomez@gmail.com is the easiest and most direct way to go, and I can talk to you or them from there.
-----------------
Again, thank you so much for being a part of this community and for continually being done with (blank) and putting on the new and hopeful to follow Christ all the more.
-joe
It's Joe here, with some updates for all of you in the I Am Done With... community!
First off, a HUGE thank you is due to all of you who have been contributing to this blog since we started it almost a month ago. I am incredibly excited to see what God will do with the things which he has put on our hearts and lead us to write here, and have been absolutely privileged to see some amazing things come of it already.
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Secondly, "Iadw" now has it's on domain name, so if you linked to it anywhere, please change the links to:
www.iamdonewith.com
I made a "cool" (keyword should be "simple", but minimalism is cool these days, right?) little badge for you all to put on your blogs or wherever your heart desires to promote Iadw:
*edit* I am working on a way to be able to share the text for the code...blogger is giving me a hard time with it...sorry! it'll be up soon.**
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Last but not least, we desire to be a constantly growing community and are a couple ways to do that.
First, we need your help to promote, draw people to this site, and to get the site out there.
Also, we are always looking for new voices to share what they are done with and how they desire to "put on the new". If you o anyone you know that has something to share, send them our way!
An email to: josephallyngomez@gmail.com is the easiest and most direct way to go, and I can talk to you or them from there.
-----------------
Again, thank you so much for being a part of this community and for continually being done with (blank) and putting on the new and hopeful to follow Christ all the more.
-joe
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I am done with...It All
I am so done.
I am walking in the promises of God.
I am redeemed. I am human.
I'm never gonna be Him and stopped trying to be a long time ago.
I am so done with church members (brothers and sisters) who preach LOVE and really want control.
I am so done with it all.
I am done with the opinions of other people and their shallow judgments regarding my personal choices.
I am so done with it all.
In fact, I am so done and so thoroughly convinced that Christ lives in ME that I may never go back. And EVERY BODY SAYS...PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Thanks for the opportunity for true expression. Love to all.
I am walking in the promises of God.
I am redeemed. I am human.
I'm never gonna be Him and stopped trying to be a long time ago.
I am so done with church members (brothers and sisters) who preach LOVE and really want control.
I am so done with it all.
I am done with the opinions of other people and their shallow judgments regarding my personal choices.
I am so done with it all.
In fact, I am so done and so thoroughly convinced that Christ lives in ME that I may never go back. And EVERY BODY SAYS...PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Thanks for the opportunity for true expression. Love to all.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
I Am Done With... Not Being Myself
I am done with not being myself, with pretending to be the nice guy or the cool guy, everyone's best buddy or the one who will "always come through" for you, the greet-you-before-church guy or the I've-got-a-Bible-verse-for-every-problem guy. I'm done with trying to be someone I admire but just can't live up to.
It's not that those things are bad--they're just not me.
I'm on a weekend trip at my in-laws' house, and it's quite a discipline to be myself. Amidst all kinds of inside jokes and unfamiliar anecdotes, it's easy to only talk about what seems relevant for the family, to say the right political things or side-step touchy theological issues. It's easy to say what you know will get a laugh instead of trying to go a little deeper into serious issues. It's easy... and yet, I know that God has allowed our paths to cross and brought me into this new family so that we both could learn from each other.
Today, I'm proclaiming that I'm done with not being myself.
In the past, I've tried to be someone I'm not in an attempt to gain someone's approval. And after pretending long enough, I get confused and wonder who I really am. It's easy to get lost in those kinds of guessing games.
I need to be honest. Not just with my wife's parents, but with myself. Only in realizing my limitations (who I'm not) can I begin to comprehend what I'm actually capable of (who I really am).
So, I'm done with it. All the evening dinner talk that allows me to hide out in a caricature instead of in the vulnerability of humanity. I will be myself, even when it's painful and humbling. I will speak the truth in a spirit of love, even when love may be misunderstood. I will be who I am, at the risk of exposure and possible rejection, because I know that there is no joy in getting people to accept a lie.
I am done with being anyone other than me... And I'm broken.
It's not that those things are bad--they're just not me.
I'm on a weekend trip at my in-laws' house, and it's quite a discipline to be myself. Amidst all kinds of inside jokes and unfamiliar anecdotes, it's easy to only talk about what seems relevant for the family, to say the right political things or side-step touchy theological issues. It's easy to say what you know will get a laugh instead of trying to go a little deeper into serious issues. It's easy... and yet, I know that God has allowed our paths to cross and brought me into this new family so that we both could learn from each other.
Today, I'm proclaiming that I'm done with not being myself.
In the past, I've tried to be someone I'm not in an attempt to gain someone's approval. And after pretending long enough, I get confused and wonder who I really am. It's easy to get lost in those kinds of guessing games.
I need to be honest. Not just with my wife's parents, but with myself. Only in realizing my limitations (who I'm not) can I begin to comprehend what I'm actually capable of (who I really am).
So, I'm done with it. All the evening dinner talk that allows me to hide out in a caricature instead of in the vulnerability of humanity. I will be myself, even when it's painful and humbling. I will speak the truth in a spirit of love, even when love may be misunderstood. I will be who I am, at the risk of exposure and possible rejection, because I know that there is no joy in getting people to accept a lie.
I am done with being anyone other than me... And I'm broken.
Friday, October 10, 2008
I Am Done With... Tithing
I am done with tithing.
I'm done with giving "offerings" that don't really offer anything.
I'm finally over pinching pennies and counting every gift to nonprofits, missionaries, and church work, mentally patting myself on the back with each dollar spent, thinking I'm representing God's best idea for generosity.
I'm done with being done once I get to 10%, based on some cryptic story in the Old Testament about a guy named Melchizedek or some "pay God and he'll pay you back" promise.
I'm done with dropping my couple bucks in the plate and walking away from a need with a clean conscience.
I'm done with giving that doesn't involve compassion. I'm done with throwing money at problems when I have the opportunity to throw myself into the thick of someone's life.
I'm done with offering just money when I can offer myself.
I'm done with tithing...
I'm not done with generosity.
I'm done with giving "offerings" that don't really offer anything.
I'm finally over pinching pennies and counting every gift to nonprofits, missionaries, and church work, mentally patting myself on the back with each dollar spent, thinking I'm representing God's best idea for generosity.
I'm done with being done once I get to 10%, based on some cryptic story in the Old Testament about a guy named Melchizedek or some "pay God and he'll pay you back" promise.
I'm done with dropping my couple bucks in the plate and walking away from a need with a clean conscience.
I'm done with giving that doesn't involve compassion. I'm done with throwing money at problems when I have the opportunity to throw myself into the thick of someone's life.
I'm done with offering just money when I can offer myself.
I'm done with tithing...
I'm not done with generosity.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
I Am Done With... Just Singing About Amazing Grace
For the first three decades of my life, grace to me was just something that I sang about in songs and talked about in church but really didn't have a personal understanding of what it truly meant or what role it played in my life. I knew I was saved, but to be honest, I didn't really appreciate God's love and all that He had blessed me with.
I would hear AMAZING GRACE sung in church and think "you know, since I was never a wretched sinner I'll never be able to have the kind of deep passion for God that someone really sinful has once they get saved". I really thought that because I was so "good" that God really hadn't saved me from much...I mean, yeah, I now would get to go to Heaven when I died...but I hadn't been a druggie or a murderer or anything really "awful" like some people. And so I went about my self-righteous life thinking it was mostly about being sweet and working hard and not letting myself act like those wretched sinners who really needed God.
Then God put in me in a place where my pharisee-tinted glasses were about to get ripped off. I was at a worship conference at the church where I served as preschool ministry coordinator. I was in charge of getting childcare providers for all the services and having a hard time finding people willing to do it even for pay. Almost everyone wanted to be in on the action and didn't want to miss it by being "stuck in the nursery" with the children. I, being a hard-working, self-righteous do-gooder was fed up. I ended up having to be in the nursery almost the entire time because I couldn't get enough child care providers. But on the last night, I managed to slip out and go into the worship service for a while. As the incredible worship team led the congregation in praise, all I could do was think about myself and how much I had had to sacrifice and look at all these "bless me" people who hadn't been willing to be a servant like I was willing to be a servant and on and on with my critical, self-righteous thoughts.
Then all at once the Holy Spirit opened my eyes, took off the blinders, and showed me how ugly and petty and mean-spirited I was. I couldn't even worship Him because I was too busy looking down my spiritually-snobby nose at the people around me. For the very first time in my life, I saw truly how sinful and wretched I was. For the first time in my life, I realized that I did desperately need a saviour to take away my awfulness. Yes, I'd accepted Jesus as a seven year old child. And yes, I'd loved God and desired to serve and obey Him. But I'd never really seen until that night that I was also a wretched, undeserving sinner.
The service ended with communion and I wept as I hungrily ate the bread and drank the wine. I was desperate for Christ and His cleansing.
I was truly broken.
About two weeks later I attended a Steve Brown BORN FREE seminar in Atlanta with one my best friends from college. I came there terribly aware of my unworthiness and a desperate need to understand fully God's grace. I left there set free! Steve helped me understand the spiritual prisons I had been in all those years. I was a Christian, but I was still living like someone in bondage. Because of that weekend, I learned a crucial lesson. On the long drive home, as I pondered over the weekend, God helped me realize something for the very first time. He didn't love me because I baked good biscuits, had a nice singing voice, and could organize people....BECAUSE HE LOVED ME I baked good biscuits, had a nice singing voice, and could organize people.
It was a total paradigm shift in my thinking. God didn't love me because I was good...He loved me because I was His! And because I was His, He gave me good things such as the talents that I was so prideful about. He showed me that every good and perfect gift came down from Him! He started setting me free from the prisons of guilt and the fear of saying "no" to people. He's still helping me in these areas but He's helping me to learn that its okay to not always please everyone as long as I'm pleasing Him. And He's teaching me that He loves me and isn't surprised when I still mess up...after all, through Jesus death and resurrection, He provided a way for my forgiveness before I was even born.
My shortcomings are no surprise to God. He saw every sin I'd ever commit before the world was even created. He knew about every time I'd say the wrong thing, think the mean thoughts, or intentionally NOT do what I should, but He chose to love me anyway.
That's what grace is all about. Its about Him and His passionate, seemingly illogical love for people just like me...and people just like you...people who mess up big time. Its about Him never giving up on me even when I give up on Him. Its about Him giving me so many more blessings than I ever, ever could even think about deserving. Its about His goodness, not mine.
Its about Him.
I am so thankful for the last decade spent in grace. He used people like Steve Brown, Brennan Manning, and my former associate pastor Dan Wills to help me get rooted in it. He used my husband Jim to help me stay free in that grace and refuse to go back into bondage.
In the first few years of our marriage, I wanted Jim to pretend that I didn't have any flaws. I remember one night we got in a silly quarrel because I wanted him to say that I was the perfect wife for him. Because he's so literal, he wouldn't say it because he said I WASN'T perfect. But I kept nagging him and nagging him and trying to get him to see it my way and he finally gave in and said it just so I'd shut up and let him go to sleep.
See, I had believed that stupid idea that came out of the 60's that love is blind. But what my husband was wise enough to already grasp was that true love isn't blind. True love sees all the ugly things but chooses to love anyway. With him, I didn't have to be perfect to deserve or earn his love, he loved me just the way I was...and he still loves me just the way I am.
How freeing! How incredible to know that he loves me when I'm hormonal, he loves me when I'm lazy, he loves me when I'm whiny, he loves me when I stink, he loves me when I spend too much money, he loves me when I scrape the van, he loves me, he loves me, he loves me.
And if he, who is a sinful man, can love me in that way, then I shouldn't ever doubt that my perfectly amazing, Heavenly Father absolutely adores me.
After all, He was willing to give me His very best...Jesus...because of that unconditional love and that thing we call Amazing Grace.
I would hear AMAZING GRACE sung in church and think "you know, since I was never a wretched sinner I'll never be able to have the kind of deep passion for God that someone really sinful has once they get saved". I really thought that because I was so "good" that God really hadn't saved me from much...I mean, yeah, I now would get to go to Heaven when I died...but I hadn't been a druggie or a murderer or anything really "awful" like some people. And so I went about my self-righteous life thinking it was mostly about being sweet and working hard and not letting myself act like those wretched sinners who really needed God.
Then God put in me in a place where my pharisee-tinted glasses were about to get ripped off. I was at a worship conference at the church where I served as preschool ministry coordinator. I was in charge of getting childcare providers for all the services and having a hard time finding people willing to do it even for pay. Almost everyone wanted to be in on the action and didn't want to miss it by being "stuck in the nursery" with the children. I, being a hard-working, self-righteous do-gooder was fed up. I ended up having to be in the nursery almost the entire time because I couldn't get enough child care providers. But on the last night, I managed to slip out and go into the worship service for a while. As the incredible worship team led the congregation in praise, all I could do was think about myself and how much I had had to sacrifice and look at all these "bless me" people who hadn't been willing to be a servant like I was willing to be a servant and on and on with my critical, self-righteous thoughts.
Then all at once the Holy Spirit opened my eyes, took off the blinders, and showed me how ugly and petty and mean-spirited I was. I couldn't even worship Him because I was too busy looking down my spiritually-snobby nose at the people around me. For the very first time in my life, I saw truly how sinful and wretched I was. For the first time in my life, I realized that I did desperately need a saviour to take away my awfulness. Yes, I'd accepted Jesus as a seven year old child. And yes, I'd loved God and desired to serve and obey Him. But I'd never really seen until that night that I was also a wretched, undeserving sinner.
The service ended with communion and I wept as I hungrily ate the bread and drank the wine. I was desperate for Christ and His cleansing.
I was truly broken.
About two weeks later I attended a Steve Brown BORN FREE seminar in Atlanta with one my best friends from college. I came there terribly aware of my unworthiness and a desperate need to understand fully God's grace. I left there set free! Steve helped me understand the spiritual prisons I had been in all those years. I was a Christian, but I was still living like someone in bondage. Because of that weekend, I learned a crucial lesson. On the long drive home, as I pondered over the weekend, God helped me realize something for the very first time. He didn't love me because I baked good biscuits, had a nice singing voice, and could organize people....BECAUSE HE LOVED ME I baked good biscuits, had a nice singing voice, and could organize people.
It was a total paradigm shift in my thinking. God didn't love me because I was good...He loved me because I was His! And because I was His, He gave me good things such as the talents that I was so prideful about. He showed me that every good and perfect gift came down from Him! He started setting me free from the prisons of guilt and the fear of saying "no" to people. He's still helping me in these areas but He's helping me to learn that its okay to not always please everyone as long as I'm pleasing Him. And He's teaching me that He loves me and isn't surprised when I still mess up...after all, through Jesus death and resurrection, He provided a way for my forgiveness before I was even born.
My shortcomings are no surprise to God. He saw every sin I'd ever commit before the world was even created. He knew about every time I'd say the wrong thing, think the mean thoughts, or intentionally NOT do what I should, but He chose to love me anyway.
That's what grace is all about. Its about Him and His passionate, seemingly illogical love for people just like me...and people just like you...people who mess up big time. Its about Him never giving up on me even when I give up on Him. Its about Him giving me so many more blessings than I ever, ever could even think about deserving. Its about His goodness, not mine.
Its about Him.
I am so thankful for the last decade spent in grace. He used people like Steve Brown, Brennan Manning, and my former associate pastor Dan Wills to help me get rooted in it. He used my husband Jim to help me stay free in that grace and refuse to go back into bondage.
In the first few years of our marriage, I wanted Jim to pretend that I didn't have any flaws. I remember one night we got in a silly quarrel because I wanted him to say that I was the perfect wife for him. Because he's so literal, he wouldn't say it because he said I WASN'T perfect. But I kept nagging him and nagging him and trying to get him to see it my way and he finally gave in and said it just so I'd shut up and let him go to sleep.
See, I had believed that stupid idea that came out of the 60's that love is blind. But what my husband was wise enough to already grasp was that true love isn't blind. True love sees all the ugly things but chooses to love anyway. With him, I didn't have to be perfect to deserve or earn his love, he loved me just the way I was...and he still loves me just the way I am.
How freeing! How incredible to know that he loves me when I'm hormonal, he loves me when I'm lazy, he loves me when I'm whiny, he loves me when I stink, he loves me when I spend too much money, he loves me when I scrape the van, he loves me, he loves me, he loves me.
And if he, who is a sinful man, can love me in that way, then I shouldn't ever doubt that my perfectly amazing, Heavenly Father absolutely adores me.
After all, He was willing to give me His very best...Jesus...because of that unconditional love and that thing we call Amazing Grace.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I Am Done With... Not Knowing.
(Warning, this might be too hard for you to read if you're dealing with grief right now)
TWO BIRTHDAYS...TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES
This past week in Jackson, Mississippi, two little ones had birthdays.
One little girl we call our “princess.” She turned seven, amidst much rejoicing complete with presents, a special breakfast, cards, decorations, plenty of photos and videotaping, love and laughter. This little princess is greatly cherished, and the memories of almost losing her during childbirth make us all the more grateful. She is being given the best that we can give her in life. Most likely, she will have scores and scores of birthdays in her life... a life full of promise and amazing possibilities.
The second little one we don't know. She was born this week on her one and only birthday. There will never be parties thrown for her. She won't open up presents and smile for the camera as her daddy says "cheese" for the umpteenth time. She won't be asked what kind of cake she wants or receive "happy birthday" calls from her grandma. She won't grow up with a gaggle of brothers and sisters teaching her how to jump rope or dance to The Wiggles. She'll never sit on her earthly daddy's lap and be told how much she is loved. Only her Heavenly Father will hold this little girl and let her know that she is His precious one forever. For the day that was her birth day, is the only birthday this little one will ever know.
On Sunday morning, within walking distance of the state capitol building, several churches, ministries, and hospitals, a dear friend made a tragic discovery. This person is one of the homeless people who worships alongside our family at the outdoor worship service we attend on Sunday afternoons. I love her heartfelt hugs and how sweet she is to my baby. But this dear woman is absolutely devastated, because yesterday morning she found a little baby dead beside a dumpster, it's umbilical cord cut with a broken bottle and left lying there to die.
You'd think that something of this nature would be headline news. You'd think that folks would be both outraged and appalled, that our churches would be stirred up out of complacency and worry about trivial matters, saying. "We've got to do something to change the lives and hearts of those in our city!"But there is no widespread grief or outrage, because except for the few that live down in that crime-ridden, impoverished area, no one knows. The police know. And any other involved officials are going to know, but where are the newspaper articles and TV news features? I've been searching the stations and websites, and I can't find that anyone knows about it or finds it newsworthy enough to write about.
A baby--precious, made-in-God's-image baby was found in a trash dumpster, and that's not news that our community needs to know about, be shocked about, be motivated to do something about? We can't save this little one, but what about others like her? What do we as Christians need to be doing to bring about change? It's not stricter laws or more lenient ones. Good laws do help; laws that allow new moms to leave their babies in safe places with no questions asked are good.
But that's not enough.
The basic problem lies in an inner-city culture that has not only been consumed by death and destruction, some of it self-inflicted, but also by a suburban culture that has turned it's back on the inner-city. The majority of folks living in the ‘burbs have either fled Jackson due to crime, high taxes, poor public schools, and a messed-up city government, or they've never lived there and plan on spending as little time there as possible.
Many people are downright afraid of Jackson. They watch the news and hear of all the murders and robberies and rapes. They drive through with locked doors on their way to the zoo or the museums or the concerts and see the crack-houses and gang graffiti.
They can afford to stay away, live someplace safe, and in the process, they can forget about the inner-city and those who desperately need the love of Jesus. They need to know that God loves them. They need to know that there is hope in Jesus. They need to know that they can escape this hell-on-earth. They need to know that they are not forgotten. They need to know the love of a Father that they've never seen on this earth.
I'm not naive. I've been around long enough to know that there are some people that are not going to change no matter what. There are some people that will choose crime and death over redemption and life. But there are others who are willing to change; they just need someone to help show them the way. I've met those who have changed. It can happen. God is the author of beautiful life stories, stories of beauty from ashes.
I can't help but think how different the headlines would be today if that precious little one had been found dead in one of our affluent suburbs. But she wasn't. She was born among those left behind, those who couldn't afford to flee. She was born to "one of those kinds of people.”
We know some folks whom God has called. Amy Lancaster and her family left a big house in an affluent neighborhood in a safe town outside of Jackson and moved back to be among "those kinds of people.” They love their neighbors and do everything they can to point them to God and His good, redemptive plan for their lives. And she hears on a regular basis that what they are doing is crazy and pointless. That "those kinds of people" will never change. That basically, they just need to be walled off from the rest of society until they kill themselves off.
Two little ones. Two different lives.
One is greatly treasured and has a beautiful life ahead of her. One is now with her Heavenly Father because she was born to someone who didn't know the value of life--her life and her baby's life.
And all over our state, our country, our world, there are two kinds of little children--those who are loved and have hope, and those who are living surrounded by death and destruction.
And all over our world are two kinds of people--those who know and do nothing, and those who know and are called to action.
If we bear the name of Christ, if we call ourselves Christians, there should be no doubt in which camp we find ourselves. Not all of us are called to move to the inner-city. God has unique callings on each person’s life. I am not about to sit here and say that we should all be carbon-copy ministers. But we should all be making sure that we are doing what God has called us to do in this world. We should not let fear or laziness or ignorance stop us.
Shane Claiborne says that it's not that American Christians don't care about the poor, but rather that we don't know the poor. I would expand that to say that it's not just the poor that we don't know; we also don't know those in desperate need of spiritual hope and deliverance. We've become isolated from them for a myriad of reasons: busyness, laziness, ignorance, selfishness, fear, insecurity, cynicism, prejudice, fear of failure, and even plain and simple lack of love.
I had a friend one time who told me she didn't want to hear the facts about a hard subject, because then she would have to act. I think that's how many of us in the Christian church think. I can't go down to the inner-city ministries and not get emotionally involved. If I go, I'm going to get to know "those kinds of people." I'm going to hear about the abuse they are experiencing, the closets they sleep in, the fears they have, the addictions they fight, the diseases that are killing them, and I'm going to care.
And once I care, I must act. I can't do it all. But I can do what He has called and equipped me to do. It hurts to care, but it hurts too badly not to care--it hurts them, it hurts me, and it hurts my Lord.
For whatever I do, or don't do, for the least of these, I do it, or don't do it, unto Him.
TWO BIRTHDAYS...TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES
This past week in Jackson, Mississippi, two little ones had birthdays.
One little girl we call our “princess.” She turned seven, amidst much rejoicing complete with presents, a special breakfast, cards, decorations, plenty of photos and videotaping, love and laughter. This little princess is greatly cherished, and the memories of almost losing her during childbirth make us all the more grateful. She is being given the best that we can give her in life. Most likely, she will have scores and scores of birthdays in her life... a life full of promise and amazing possibilities.
The second little one we don't know. She was born this week on her one and only birthday. There will never be parties thrown for her. She won't open up presents and smile for the camera as her daddy says "cheese" for the umpteenth time. She won't be asked what kind of cake she wants or receive "happy birthday" calls from her grandma. She won't grow up with a gaggle of brothers and sisters teaching her how to jump rope or dance to The Wiggles. She'll never sit on her earthly daddy's lap and be told how much she is loved. Only her Heavenly Father will hold this little girl and let her know that she is His precious one forever. For the day that was her birth day, is the only birthday this little one will ever know.
On Sunday morning, within walking distance of the state capitol building, several churches, ministries, and hospitals, a dear friend made a tragic discovery. This person is one of the homeless people who worships alongside our family at the outdoor worship service we attend on Sunday afternoons. I love her heartfelt hugs and how sweet she is to my baby. But this dear woman is absolutely devastated, because yesterday morning she found a little baby dead beside a dumpster, it's umbilical cord cut with a broken bottle and left lying there to die.
You'd think that something of this nature would be headline news. You'd think that folks would be both outraged and appalled, that our churches would be stirred up out of complacency and worry about trivial matters, saying. "We've got to do something to change the lives and hearts of those in our city!"But there is no widespread grief or outrage, because except for the few that live down in that crime-ridden, impoverished area, no one knows. The police know. And any other involved officials are going to know, but where are the newspaper articles and TV news features? I've been searching the stations and websites, and I can't find that anyone knows about it or finds it newsworthy enough to write about.
A baby--precious, made-in-God's-image baby was found in a trash dumpster, and that's not news that our community needs to know about, be shocked about, be motivated to do something about? We can't save this little one, but what about others like her? What do we as Christians need to be doing to bring about change? It's not stricter laws or more lenient ones. Good laws do help; laws that allow new moms to leave their babies in safe places with no questions asked are good.
But that's not enough.
The basic problem lies in an inner-city culture that has not only been consumed by death and destruction, some of it self-inflicted, but also by a suburban culture that has turned it's back on the inner-city. The majority of folks living in the ‘burbs have either fled Jackson due to crime, high taxes, poor public schools, and a messed-up city government, or they've never lived there and plan on spending as little time there as possible.
Many people are downright afraid of Jackson. They watch the news and hear of all the murders and robberies and rapes. They drive through with locked doors on their way to the zoo or the museums or the concerts and see the crack-houses and gang graffiti.
They can afford to stay away, live someplace safe, and in the process, they can forget about the inner-city and those who desperately need the love of Jesus. They need to know that God loves them. They need to know that there is hope in Jesus. They need to know that they can escape this hell-on-earth. They need to know that they are not forgotten. They need to know the love of a Father that they've never seen on this earth.
I'm not naive. I've been around long enough to know that there are some people that are not going to change no matter what. There are some people that will choose crime and death over redemption and life. But there are others who are willing to change; they just need someone to help show them the way. I've met those who have changed. It can happen. God is the author of beautiful life stories, stories of beauty from ashes.
I can't help but think how different the headlines would be today if that precious little one had been found dead in one of our affluent suburbs. But she wasn't. She was born among those left behind, those who couldn't afford to flee. She was born to "one of those kinds of people.”
We know some folks whom God has called. Amy Lancaster and her family left a big house in an affluent neighborhood in a safe town outside of Jackson and moved back to be among "those kinds of people.” They love their neighbors and do everything they can to point them to God and His good, redemptive plan for their lives. And she hears on a regular basis that what they are doing is crazy and pointless. That "those kinds of people" will never change. That basically, they just need to be walled off from the rest of society until they kill themselves off.
Two little ones. Two different lives.
One is greatly treasured and has a beautiful life ahead of her. One is now with her Heavenly Father because she was born to someone who didn't know the value of life--her life and her baby's life.
And all over our state, our country, our world, there are two kinds of little children--those who are loved and have hope, and those who are living surrounded by death and destruction.
And all over our world are two kinds of people--those who know and do nothing, and those who know and are called to action.
If we bear the name of Christ, if we call ourselves Christians, there should be no doubt in which camp we find ourselves. Not all of us are called to move to the inner-city. God has unique callings on each person’s life. I am not about to sit here and say that we should all be carbon-copy ministers. But we should all be making sure that we are doing what God has called us to do in this world. We should not let fear or laziness or ignorance stop us.
Shane Claiborne says that it's not that American Christians don't care about the poor, but rather that we don't know the poor. I would expand that to say that it's not just the poor that we don't know; we also don't know those in desperate need of spiritual hope and deliverance. We've become isolated from them for a myriad of reasons: busyness, laziness, ignorance, selfishness, fear, insecurity, cynicism, prejudice, fear of failure, and even plain and simple lack of love.
I had a friend one time who told me she didn't want to hear the facts about a hard subject, because then she would have to act. I think that's how many of us in the Christian church think. I can't go down to the inner-city ministries and not get emotionally involved. If I go, I'm going to get to know "those kinds of people." I'm going to hear about the abuse they are experiencing, the closets they sleep in, the fears they have, the addictions they fight, the diseases that are killing them, and I'm going to care.
And once I care, I must act. I can't do it all. But I can do what He has called and equipped me to do. It hurts to care, but it hurts too badly not to care--it hurts them, it hurts me, and it hurts my Lord.
For whatever I do, or don't do, for the least of these, I do it, or don't do it, unto Him.
I Am Done with... Masks
I'm tired of being who you want me to be! I'm tired of trying to play by your rules. I'm tired of trying to be what you perceive to be a good Christian. I'm tired of pretending, of following the prescribed way to do things, of sitting and looking like I've got it all together. I'm tired of doing things your way. I'm tired of doing anything and everything to be accepted by you.
I'm a heretic? So what! Who's way do I follow - yours or God's? I heard God say to do something. It doesn't fit your preconceived notion of what a Christian should or shouldn't do. I am judged. Who gave you the right?
I'm tired of settling for the status quo! I'm tired of not being allowed to think for myself. I'm tired of people who sit in church on Sunday feeling good about themselves because they are "where they are supposed to be" and who then turn around and judge others who they perceive aren't as good as they are.
I'm tired of people who have all the answers; the ones who judge me when I have doubts I am wrestling with. I'm tired of it being a sin to engage with culture, expand my horizons, look for truth wherever it might be found and realize there is more than one way to see things!
I'm tired of games and masks. Of perfect people. Of country club churches. Of in and out, right and wrong, black and white.
I'm tired of being thought less of for who I am, who I'm not, who I was and who I no longer want to be.
I'm tired of being laughed at for my curiosity, my desire to learn and grow - as if I should be settled and have all the answers. I'm tired of being looked down on if I ruffle the waters, ask the hard questions, stir the pot. I'm tired of having to explain myself if I don't agree, don't conform, and or issue with the norm.
I'd love to sit with a settled friend - especially one from high school or college days and talk with them. See why they are where they are, what they think about things, why they have settled. But in the evangelical world it's not easy. It's always black or white, in or out, right or wrong. Which kinda keeps dialogue from happening- to say nothing of acceptance and understanding.I'm done with Christianity in a pretty box all tied up with a bow and handed to those we approve of to receive it.
Monday, October 6, 2008
I Am Done With... Advice
I'm done with seeking your advice first, getting your permission first... then obeying my King.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I Am Done With...Pacing Myself.
I am constantly being told, by numerous people, that the Christian life is a marathon not a sprint. They tell me I need to pace myself so that I don't burn out. In other words my passion level is obnoxiously high and I need to slow down a bit to make the people around me more comfortable. I am confused by statements such as these because verses like Matthew 21:22(MSG) really speak to me.
I love this quote by C.S. Lewis:
Although I have never run a marathon I know a few things about them. One thing I am quite sure about is that people finish marathons at differant times. The runners who run to win finish a marathon in just over two hours while others who pace themselves can be seen crossing the finish line in an average of five. I began talking this over with my husband who was quick to point out that the word marathon was never used at all; Paul only uses the word race. I got excited about this and typed marathon into BibleGateway.com. I clicked on all the English translations to see if a verse comparing Christianity to a marathon would come up and it did not.
My husband, being a Bible major, also possesses a Vine's dictionary of Old and New Testament words in Hebrew and Greek. He looked up the word race and found that Paul used the Greek word stadion. According to Vine's which is keyed to Strong's reference numbers, stadion refers to a stadium which denotes a racecourse. When Paul was talking about a racecourse he was referencing a stadium of about 600 feet or 1/8 of a Roman mile. My husband and I "Googled" 1/8 of a mile and got 200 meters. The 200 meter dash is a popular sprint and the world record for running it is all of 19.30 seconds. It looks like Paul was talking about a sprint after all.
I Am Done With...Pacing Myself...
"Absolutely everything, ranging from small to large, as you make it a part of your believing prayer, gets included as you lay hold of God."I like the idea of "laying hold of God" and nothing about that sounds at all passive, in my opinion.
I love this quote by C.S. Lewis:
"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."I have spent my life surrounded by people who see the Christian life as moderately important, and it has never inspired me to live for God, even a little bit. God has, within the last year, miraculously set me free and stirred up a great passion to know Him and make Him known. He has not given me a desire to pace myself in even the slightest of ways, so I was confused by this marathon and pacing language, and I wanted to know where people were getting it. I remembered Paul talking about running a race so I looked up I Corinthians 9 to get a look at the exact terminology.
24Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win.
26I don't know about you, but I'm running hard for the finish line. I'm giving it everything I've got.I run.
Although I have never run a marathon I know a few things about them. One thing I am quite sure about is that people finish marathons at differant times. The runners who run to win finish a marathon in just over two hours while others who pace themselves can be seen crossing the finish line in an average of five. I began talking this over with my husband who was quick to point out that the word marathon was never used at all; Paul only uses the word race. I got excited about this and typed marathon into BibleGateway.com. I clicked on all the English translations to see if a verse comparing Christianity to a marathon would come up and it did not.
My husband, being a Bible major, also possesses a Vine's dictionary of Old and New Testament words in Hebrew and Greek. He looked up the word race and found that Paul used the Greek word stadion. According to Vine's which is keyed to Strong's reference numbers, stadion refers to a stadium which denotes a racecourse. When Paul was talking about a racecourse he was referencing a stadium of about 600 feet or 1/8 of a Roman mile. My husband and I "Googled" 1/8 of a mile and got 200 meters. The 200 meter dash is a popular sprint and the world record for running it is all of 19.30 seconds. It looks like Paul was talking about a sprint after all.
I Am Done With...Pacing Myself...
Friday, October 3, 2008
I Am Done With... False Humility
The other day, I wrote about meeting one of my musical idols (bad term to use in a Christian blog, but oh well) and how I spent most of the time avoiding him, trying to be unnoticed. What an absurd thing to do, I thought. The whole point I was there, back-stage waiting for him, was to meet him - that is, to be noticed. Needless to say, I feel that way a lot with my relationship with God.
I am done with being unnoticed by God.
I'm done with feeling like I have to say after delivering a message, "Oh, it wasn't me speaking..." and then mystically staring at the ceiling for several seconds of reverence.
I'm done with "It's not about me" Christianity really being a means of bringing more attention to myself through my self-righteous refusals to accept a compliment.
I'm done with deflecting, instead of just thanking God for the gifts and talents he's bestowed on me.
I'm done with blaming the Devil for my just being plain crappy at some stuff and not willing to take personal responsibility for mistakes.
I'm done with thinking that humility means thinking of myself as anything less than a child of God.
I'm done with frail and puny spirituality that wouldn't stand a chance in a real battle when all hell breaks loose.
I'm done with thinking of myself as a sinner, instead of as a saint.
I'm done with feeling defeated every morning when I wake up, thinking that I'm "doomed to sin."
I'm done with a faith that doesn't give me authority to bring light to dark places, with thinking that being a "co-heir with Christ" doesn't mean what it sounds like it means, with waiting for the Rapture instead of believing "the kingdom of God is within you."
I'm not done with true humility, but I'm done with all the fake stuff that religious people love to flaunt. It may not win me any front-row seats at the next Gaither concert, but that's just the price I have to pay.
I am done with being unnoticed by God.
I'm done with feeling like I have to say after delivering a message, "Oh, it wasn't me speaking..." and then mystically staring at the ceiling for several seconds of reverence.
I'm done with "It's not about me" Christianity really being a means of bringing more attention to myself through my self-righteous refusals to accept a compliment.
I'm done with deflecting, instead of just thanking God for the gifts and talents he's bestowed on me.
I'm done with blaming the Devil for my just being plain crappy at some stuff and not willing to take personal responsibility for mistakes.
I'm done with thinking that humility means thinking of myself as anything less than a child of God.
I'm done with frail and puny spirituality that wouldn't stand a chance in a real battle when all hell breaks loose.
I'm done with thinking of myself as a sinner, instead of as a saint.
I'm done with feeling defeated every morning when I wake up, thinking that I'm "doomed to sin."
I'm done with a faith that doesn't give me authority to bring light to dark places, with thinking that being a "co-heir with Christ" doesn't mean what it sounds like it means, with waiting for the Rapture instead of believing "the kingdom of God is within you."
I'm not done with true humility, but I'm done with all the fake stuff that religious people love to flaunt. It may not win me any front-row seats at the next Gaither concert, but that's just the price I have to pay.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I Am Done With... Not Being Able to See God Because of the Church
Because of what I have just gone through, God has made me acutely aware of the suffering people in my institutional church. I talked with one of them for a while today. Her husband is an alcoholic who has just now cheated on her for the second time (that she knows of) in their 8 years of marriage. They have two children ages 7 and 4. He is trying to recover from his alcoholism and is constantly delivering promises that things will be different this time.
When I called her she was at the church building getting the children's church room ready for the launch of it's new season which she will be heading. She is overwhelmed and at her breaking point. She has been told to keep her self busy to keep her mind off of her pain. She is an idea person, and when she comes up with an idea she is told "GREAT...that will be an EXCELLENT project for YOU to work on."
We go to a small church which has a roster of 120 families, but we are lucky if 80 show up. She tearfully said to me "if you want anything to happen around here you have to do it yourself." Last Sunday was the last Sunday before the new children's church season was to start, and she told me she just couldn't bring herself to go to church. She went to a neighbor kid's football game instead, and she found more solace their than she had found in a while amongst the people in our congregation.
We are going to Africa soon, and the church spoken of above is our official supporting church. We haven't been in at least 3 Sundays now. We have a heroin addict living in our home, and it would be perpostorous to think that our church would be a place of healing for him. We have gone into the city trying to find a place of healing and acceptance for our friend. My husband and I are finding ourselves in a strange place. We were awakened while attending this church, and began sharing our dreams in it. We are in a constant tug of war with these brothers and sisters. We see some lights go on, but we are finding that people are content to live vicariously through us instead of coming along side of us, and the longer we stay the more we feel as if we are stepping on toes and wearing out our welcome.
I know that "consumer christian" is the new buzz phraseology within churches and it is no longer acceptable to leave just because the church is not serving your needs, but I am beginning to wonder if that is not a new form of religous abuse. I want to know more about the Holy Spirit and our church is much more concerned with psychology. My husband and I have no one to grow with and the people in our church are refusing to come along with us. I am watching as the hurting in our church get more and more hurt by the christianese that is being vomited out of "well meaning" Xtians mouths...and I am tired of it. I am tired of growing by myself, and having no one to grow with. I am tired of watching hurting people hurt more, and I am tired of being unable to bring hurting people who need Jesus into our church.
I just read an article on THEOOZE written by Frank Viola, author of "Pagan Christianity". In the article he gives his four reasons for leaving the Institutional church. I agreed with every one of his reasons, but I especially liked reason number one:
The other day God told me audibly to seek after Him with all my heart and He would take care of the rest. If my seeking finds me leaving the institutional church than I have to walk away, and maybe I will be a safe haven for others who will find themselves leaving it as well... sooner rather than later.
When I called her she was at the church building getting the children's church room ready for the launch of it's new season which she will be heading. She is overwhelmed and at her breaking point. She has been told to keep her self busy to keep her mind off of her pain. She is an idea person, and when she comes up with an idea she is told "GREAT...that will be an EXCELLENT project for YOU to work on."
We go to a small church which has a roster of 120 families, but we are lucky if 80 show up. She tearfully said to me "if you want anything to happen around here you have to do it yourself." Last Sunday was the last Sunday before the new children's church season was to start, and she told me she just couldn't bring herself to go to church. She went to a neighbor kid's football game instead, and she found more solace their than she had found in a while amongst the people in our congregation.
We are going to Africa soon, and the church spoken of above is our official supporting church. We haven't been in at least 3 Sundays now. We have a heroin addict living in our home, and it would be perpostorous to think that our church would be a place of healing for him. We have gone into the city trying to find a place of healing and acceptance for our friend. My husband and I are finding ourselves in a strange place. We were awakened while attending this church, and began sharing our dreams in it. We are in a constant tug of war with these brothers and sisters. We see some lights go on, but we are finding that people are content to live vicariously through us instead of coming along side of us, and the longer we stay the more we feel as if we are stepping on toes and wearing out our welcome.
I know that "consumer christian" is the new buzz phraseology within churches and it is no longer acceptable to leave just because the church is not serving your needs, but I am beginning to wonder if that is not a new form of religous abuse. I want to know more about the Holy Spirit and our church is much more concerned with psychology. My husband and I have no one to grow with and the people in our church are refusing to come along with us. I am watching as the hurting in our church get more and more hurt by the christianese that is being vomited out of "well meaning" Xtians mouths...and I am tired of it. I am tired of growing by myself, and having no one to grow with. I am tired of watching hurting people hurt more, and I am tired of being unable to bring hurting people who need Jesus into our church.
I just read an article on THEOOZE written by Frank Viola, author of "Pagan Christianity". In the article he gives his four reasons for leaving the Institutional church. I agreed with every one of his reasons, but I especially liked reason number one:
"The more I read Scripture, the more I became convinced that God was not silent regarding how His church should function. I concluded that the church wasn’t something for us humans to tamper with and create in our own image. It was a spiritual organism that has an organic expression."I think if you find yourself in a church created in the image of man you have every right to leave it, and I have not found one yet that isn't. Frank Viola sums up the article in this way:
To put all four reasons into a sentence: I had been captured by a higher vision. I envisioned the church to be something far beyond what I had experienced in my thirteen years of traditional Christianity. And that vision sent me on a 20-year odyssey.I too owe my salvation and baptism to the institutional church. I thought that was respectful and well stated. Still, I am in search of that something that is far better on the other side. God does still use the institutional church to save souls and heal people because God can and does use anything and everything to glorify himself. Still, I am finding myself closer and closer to walking away, although I have no idea what that will mean for Africa.
And the clock is still ticking.
It’s important to note that I personally have no issue with the institutional church. While I don’t believe it’s compatible with the teachings of Jesus or the apostles, I believe God still uses it to save souls and to heal people. As George Barna and I wrote in Pagan Christianity?, we owe our salvation and our baptism to the institutional church.
However, we . . . like millions of other Christians . . . simply couldn’t abide it any longer. For we’ve found something (that for us is) far better on the other side.
The other day God told me audibly to seek after Him with all my heart and He would take care of the rest. If my seeking finds me leaving the institutional church than I have to walk away, and maybe I will be a safe haven for others who will find themselves leaving it as well... sooner rather than later.
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